17-year-old son refuses to comply with new stepmother's demands to become a united family, blames it on dad for his lack of care and parenting: ‘It's way too late’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 6, 2025 2:00 PM EST

When we were kids, possibly the most common game we all enjoyed was what we used to call "playing house". 

"Playing house" usually meant a few kids would get together and decide to act as if they were a family of their own. Each kid would be assigned a role – one would be the mom, another a dad (or another mom), a few kids would be the children, maybe a dog or a grandparent would be added to the mix, and so on. Then this family would create scenarios the kids would happily act out, and there you have it – a lovely game of family.

Think about how easy life would be if creating an actual family was the same as playing the game. What wouldn't we give to have our families look exactly how we imagined them as kids, without the complications of adult problems and concerns? But unfortunately, nothing is as good as we picture it to be when we were younger, and building a family is no exception. It is messy and complicated, all we can do is give it our all and hope for the best.

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  • The family in this Reddit story is as messy as you would expect, possibly even more, and the 17-year-old son who wrote the story is not interested in making it any better.

    After he lost his mom, his father pretty much checked out and left his kid to fend for himself. The son found his new family with his mom's parents, his own grandparents, and gave up on ever feeling at home with his dad.

    However, his dad has since remarried, and his new wife is eager to “play house” and make the family whole again. Keep scrolling to read how the son reacted to her attempts…

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10450504448
    via Motortion

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for keeping my life the same now that my dad's married and his wife wants us to be a family?
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 03
    My mom d d when I (17m) was a baby and my dad didn't step up so my maternal grandparents did. They helped take care of me for dad and when I started school I'd go to their house until 7 or 8pm those days.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 04
    The older I got the more time I spent with them. I technically lived with my dad but he wasn't a very good dad and he didn't ever try to be one. Without my grandparents I'm not sure where I would have been.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 05
    Probably neglected and taken into foster care if my dad was the only person in my life. His family aren't the best so I never spent much time with them. I still spend any free time I'm not hanging with friends,
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 06
    with my grandparents. I go to their house every day. I'll eat dinner with them and lunch and dinner on weekends if I'm not busy. I spend holidays. with them and sometimes I just spend the night there. We talked about me moving
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 07
    all my stuff over but on a weird chance dad would be thinking they could try for child support, we didn't want to rock the boat. My dad started dating something 3 or 4 years ago. I don't pay that much attention. She moved in with
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 08
    him in May and they got married in September. She has kids. I don't know the first thing about her or her kids. But she's attempted to spend time with me and she's attempted to invite me in. I told her I was good and didn't want to get involved.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 09
    Her kids will also try to hang out with me and asked me to go do stuff with them. Dad goes with them for "family time" and his wife has tried to include me but I always go to my grandparents instead.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 10
    I had a three day sleepover with my grandparents for Christmas. Before I left my dad's wife told me she wanted me to stay and be with the family for Christmas. I told her I was going to be with my family. She said she
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 11
    and her kids wanted to get to know me and be included in that. I told her she was nice but I wasn't interested and she should have figured it out when she didn't meet me when she was only dating my dad and I was never involved
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 12
    in that. She said we could still make something great and I said no. When I got back from my grandparents house she was clearly annoyed but kept out of my way. Some of her family were visiting for dinner
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 13
    and I went to my grandparents again. She approached me afterward and told me I could try to spend some time with them and make room. She said it makes her and her kids feel like sh when I won't change even the smallest thing to try
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 14
    and make this work. She said all they wanted was for us to be a family and she knows my dad hasn't been the greatest to me but I could have her and her kids. She
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 15
    said she saw from my face I didn't want it but wanted me to know none of it was their fault and the least I could do was give them some time. AITA?
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10450504960
    via Omar Ramadan

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Does the son owe anything to his dad and his new family? I would say he definitely does not. He has every right to feel like his father has failed him, and therefore not want to take part in anything related to his new stepmother and her children. It is okay if he is not interested in playing house with any of them.

    However, maybe if he does decide to give this new family a chance, he might be pleasantly surprised. He might find comfort in this new change, and enjoy the company of the people who joined his dysfunctional family.

    Yet, it is still up to this kid completely, and every decision he makes is valid and should be respected.

  • 17
    Last-Box-1265 Where is your dad in all of this? Sounds like she's wanting a family with you but why? Where is he? Family starts with him and I'm assuming based on his previous behaviours that that ship has sailed? I would be
    via Last-Box-1265
  • 18
    continuing to do what you're doing you don't owe anything to her or her kids or your dad - but your grandparents sounds like gems and I'd be making the most of all the time you have with them as (I'm not sure of their ages) mine were all gone by the time I was 21. NTA.
    via Last-Box-1265
  • 19
    Adventurous_Bu... OP He's not involved in her trying to get me to be a part of this family she wants. It's waaaay too late and he doesn't care anyway so it doesn't matter. My grandparents aren't that old but I still don't want to lose them. I'd hate that.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 20
    gringaellie Top 1% Commenter Start moving stuff out of the house to your grandparents' place. Important stuff too like social security card, birth certificate, any other certificates you have, medical records etc.
    via gringaellie
  • 21
    Chances are you could end up staying with your grandparents now and your dad would no longer care.
    via gringaellie
  • 22
    Foreign-Yesterday-89 It wouldn't hurt to give her a chance. She isn't asking to become your mum. But it could become a friendship. And as your grandparents new daughter in law it would make it less awkward. But your call. NTAH
    via Foreign-Yesterday-89
  • 23
    Adventurous_Bu... OP She's not related to my grandparents. They're my mom's parents not my dad's.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 24
    NeverRarelySometimes NTA. That being said, your grandparents will presumably pass before your father and step- siblings. You may enjoy having your younger family in your life.
    via NeverRarelySometimes
  • 25
    - Consider that if you don't have a good reason to reject them, outright, you might want to try. letting them in for your own sake.
    via NeverRarelySometimes
  • 26
    Adventurous_Bug_... OP My grandparents are older and will be gone sooner but I do have other extended family. They're not as close physically but they're still my family. I don't need my father's new family for that.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799
  • 27
    DasBarenJager INFO Have you explained your dad's complete lack of interest in your life to her and why you similarly don't want to get involved?
    via DasBarenJager
  • 28
    Adventurous_Bug_... OP I never did. I don't really talk to her at all. Unless she's trying to make me hang out and then I'll turn her down but other than that I don't spend any time with her or make it a point to track her down/see her.
    via Adventurous_Bug_5799

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family drama aita kids mother teenagers siblings stepmom reddit story parenting dad family grandparents Reddit women parents children Father
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